Bohemian Reality
by Chaos Wolf
Summary: Chaos, destruction, mayhem, and pain. Just an average day in the life of Ranma


Disclaimer 1: All characters (except Buki) are property of Rumiko Takashi, so leave me the f**k alone and don't sue.  
  
Disclaimer 2: I did NOT get this title idea by the song Bohemian Rhapsody, (very good by the way) I just felt this title suited Ranma and his life.  
  
Disclaimer 3: If by reading this, the Grim Reaper appears at your door and takes your soul I am in no way responsible. Infact you probably deserved it anyway you rotten bastard  
  
  
  
BOHEMIAN REALITY  
  
(THE REDONE, WHEN HELL DOESN'T CUT IT)  
  
CHAPTER 1: YOUR AVERAGE DAY.RIGHT?  
  
Ranma Saotome woke up in a cold sweat. He had that dream again, the one where a demon and an angel were calling him. Then just before he could reach them, two blades, one light and the other dark cut him in three. It was not a dream he enjoyed having and it had been going off and on for the past month or so. When he looked out the window he saw that the sun wasn't even up yet. "Well, I might as well get to training early because I sure won't be getting back to sleep."  
  
As he stood up it was quite clear he kept in shape. He had a muscular build but not to the point of a body builder. He wasn't short or tall, just in- between at a comfortable 5'8'' or so. He left for the bath since no one else would be using it this early. He counted this as a blessing since he either walked in on his fiancé Akane or she walked in on him. When she walked in on him in. girl form, (red headed, 5'4'' or so, and definitely considered to be. large. for her age) it was even worse. It was quite obvious the two weren't fond of each other (to them anyway), and where only doing this since they had no choice in the matter because their parents arranged it. right? Ranma finished his bath and pulled out his favorite outfit. A red chinese shirt and black loose fitting pants with a rope-like belt. This outfit went perfectly with his somewhat long black hair done into a ponytail. Which was tied with the Dragon's Whisker more as a memento of one of his battles since it was no longer effective and THAT curse was gone.  
  
Walking downstairs he looked into the kitchen. Breakfast was still a few hours off. "I don't think I'll try cooking. I've tried that once to many times for a lifetime. Besides Kasumi is much better than I am." Finally getting to the dojo Ranma started warming up. It is soon obvious even to the untrained eye that he is a martial artist of superb ability. Gradually advancing into more complex moves the sun started to rise, in what seemed to be in a sync. with Ranma's increasingly difficult techniques.  
  
As Ranma finished his exercises his father Genma Saotome walked in. The best way to describe Genma was as a weasely coward. He had sold Ranma for food on a number of occasions. However karma never seemed to completely catch up with him. He was about an inch taller than Ranma with large glasses that never seemed to fall off. He wore a handkerchief over his head all the time to try and hide the fact he was bald. In his age he was starting to get a gut. Ranma knew it was time for morning training and he walked out to face his father. After about an hour of just basic punches and kicks, (and a bit of grappling) Kasumi Tendo, an elegant youth of 20 who was about Ranma's height, walked out. A soft breeze kicked up, lightly blowing past her long brown hair. She had a soft face that never really got angry. Many men considered her the picture of perfection, and many women strived to be like her (except for the being almost totally oblivious part). With her soft voice, that could pierce the loudest of rooms and the coldest of hearts, she announced that breakfast was ready. Ranma finished the sparring match by kicking Genma into the Koi Pond. Instead of a man emerging though, a Giant Panda did. The panda walked into the kitchen and got some hot water. After pouring it on itself it became a man again.  
  
At the table everyone was in their usual place. Soun Tendo, the head of the household, was sitting reading the paper as usual. He was a tall man (at least 6 feet) with long black hair and a moustache. Usually a gentle disposition unless his daughters are threatened, he cries quite easily. Then there was Nabiki Tendo. The treacherous, conniving, and cold-hearted bitch. This is still a somewhat kind description compared to her true ruthless business sense that would make even Enron executives shudder. She was also about the same height as Ranma with medium length brown hair. Like her older sister Nabiki also had looks, infact good looks seemed to run in the family. Then Akane Tendo walked down. Akane was the only good martial artist of the siblings. She was a good head shorter than Ranma with now short black hair after it had been accidentally cut off by Ranma's rival, Ryoga, in a fight. She was considered the "cute one" out of the three sisters. She was also the one forced into an engagement with Ranma by her father. She hated the arrangement as much as Ranma. Although Akane was a martial artist she didn't have a muscular build. She was also no match for some of the other martial artists in the area that were constantly after Ranma's head (in some cases hers). Akane was a tomboy in the truest since of the word.  
  
Breakfast went by uneventfully and soon Ranma, Nabiki, and Akane were off to school. Nabiki always left before the other two. Akane and Ranma were walking along at their normal pace, with Ranma at his usual post walking on the fence along the basin. They passed Dr. Tofu's office when Akane stopped Ranma. "I have to go in and get something from Dr. Tofu. He has something for Kasumi." "Probably just another book. She's constantly borrowing them." "Well it doesn't matter, I still have to do it so we might as well go now." With a sigh of defeat Ranma replied with a simple, "Yeah whatever."  
  
Walking into the office waiting room the two notice Shampoo. Also about Ranma's height she is considered one of the most beautiful Chinese Amazons (Ranma once beat her in a fight in girl form. Shampoo by law invoked the kiss of death. When she later found out Ranma was cursed she became one of his many fiancés). She had long purple hair that went down to her waist, and was one of the best martial artists you'd see. Her Japanese wasn't bad (or good for that matter), and she was constantly trying to kill Akane because she was seen as an obstacle. " Nihao Ranma." "Shampoo why are you here!?" Snuggling up to Ranma (with Ranma freaking out as usual) Shampoo said in the most innocent voice she could. "Why you no happy see Shampoo?" "I-I didn't say that." "Good. Then we can go on date later?" Akane became furious as she usually did and turned to Shampoo and Ranma "Yes Ranma GO on a date. After all she's so much prettier than I am." "What are you getting angry at me for? I didn't do nothin. She's the one that said it." Standing up Shampoo decided to speak again "Why violent girl always ruin time between me and Ranma. Why don't you just leave us be." Ranma of course got hit in the head by Akane's (inter-dimensional as it has so been dubbed) mallet. "Reason I hear is cause' Dr. Tofu have rare Chinese herb come in today. Great Grandmother put in order and sent me to pick it up. Well I go back to restaurant now. We very busy today. Stop in later if you have the time and can ditch violent hammer girl." As Ranma waved a pitiful goodbye he noticed Akane's look of death and immediately decided it would be better for his health if he stopped. The pair walked into Dr. Tofu's office to find him examining his model skeleton, which he had named Betty. "Oh, Shampoo did I give you the wrong herbs?" "No Dr. Tofu it's Akane and Ranma. We stopped by to pick up something for my sister." Dr. Tofu turned around. He was also a tall man, even with Soun. He had long brown hair done up in a bushy ponytail, large glasses, and was probably at one point a better martial artist than Ranma. However he stopped practicing the arts and became a physician/chiropractor. He grabbed a book off of his desk that he kept Betty by, "Oh right. I found that book on rare herbs and spices that she wanted to borrow." "Great, this means we'll have some new recipes to try" Ranma soon found Akane's Elbow in his gut. "Thank you Dr. Tofu. I'll make sure to tell Kasumi you said hi." "OK. Thank you very much." As the two walked out Ranma realized something. "Hey Dr. Tofu's getting better. He didn't fall apart at the mention of your sisters name" "Yeah I know. Maybe." At that moment a loud crash was heard from outside the office followed by Dr. Tofu's voice saying, "Oh my when did I put the closet there."  
  
After a good deal of walking Ranma and Akane started running. "We're going to be late again!" "Hey it's not my fault, you're the one who wanted to stop by Dr. Tofu's before school. Are you sure you still don't have feelings for him." Akane wasn't to big on Ranma's snide remarks and started swinging her bookcase at his feet, which he easily jumped. A man appeared at the front gate with a small palm tree on his head and wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt. He was holding a pair of sheep shears and had a never fading tan. "Oh no. Not again. Isn't the principal ever going to give up on cutting my hair?" "Doesn't look like it. I think Kuno's after you today too" A student Tatewaki Kuno (everyone calls him Kuno) walked up beside the principal wearing the clothes (robes?) of samurai he had short brown hair and was a good head taller than Ranma. "What else is new." As Ranma approached the principal and Kuno shouted at the same time. "Ooh why you have such big hair. I get rid of it for you." "Today is the day that I Tatewaki Kuno, The Blue Thunder of Furiken High, smite thee Ranma Saotome." Ranma quickly landed a foot in each face using them as a springboard. "Buzz off you two. I don't need to be late again." The two ran into the front doors of the school. It wasn't fancy but it wasn't run down. It was a four- story building with a lot of classrooms. A few trees outside, nothing special. Everything went normal until lunch when all hell broke loose. Then again that was normal too.  
  
At lunch Ranma's other fiancé, Ukyo Kuonji ran up to Ranma and Akane. Ukyo was even more of a tomboy than Akane, with long brown hair at waist length. She was a bit taller than Akane and the one time she wore a dress Kuno actually considered giving up both the "pigtailed girl" (Kuno is to oblivious to figure out the connection between Ranma and his cursed female form) and Akane (not that they liked him to begin with). Ukyo always carried a giant spatula on her back and mini spatula, that were razor sharp. These were here weapons and cooking utensils for her restaurant. "Hey U-chan what's up?" "Did you guys hear the news. A new student is coming after lunch" "Really? Wow, I wonder who he is?" "Who cares it's just another student" "Ranma that's not nice." "Well it's true Akane." "You can be so thoughtless, you know that?" "Well listen, I'll let you two quarrel. His first class is Ms. Hinako's class." "Well all three of us are in it, and class is almost ready to start, so Ranma and I will go with you." "Man I feel sorry for him" "Why's that Ranma honey?" "Because his first teacher here will be Ms. Hinako. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't show up tomorrow. Well anyway it's no concern of mine."  
  
As class was starting Ranma was looking out the window, not paying attention to Ms. Hinako. Ms. Hinako was a small child (so it seemed), but she had a special fighting style that she used and made her "grow up" into what she would look like if she continued growing with her age. She was tall as an adult (at least 6'), and had very long brown hair that, even as an adult, was a little more than half her total height. "Now everyone we're going to have a new student at some point today so when he arrives." A figure walked into the door. "Ah this is him now. Please introduce yourself." "Hmph. When did they start letting kids teach?" "I'm not a kid so I suggest you watch your mouth." The new student was about 6'-6'1'' with blonde wavy hair. He had a slightly larger muscular build than Ranma and was a bit broader. It was obvious he was a fighter of exceptional skill. He walked over to the desk that Ranma was sitting in, Ranma not even noticing. He threw a punch and Ranma's head moved out of the way. "Hey what was that." As Ranma turned his head his face went pale. The students were stunned that someone would challenge Ranma on their first day without knowing anything. Akane noticed Ranma's face, "Ranma what's wrong, are you OK!? Hey you what was that for?" Ukyo stood up, "Hey what do you think you're trying to do to my Ranma!?" Ms. Hinako was getting very upset. "Hey you delinquent, I said to introduce yourself not cause a ruckus in my class. This calls for some extreme disciplinary action after school. Now finish introducing yourself" "Of course, but first. Ranma you haven't gotten much better. If I had decided to throw that punch just a little quicker your head would be breaking that window." "Uh-Uh-Uh huh. S-sorry" "By the way, my name is Buki" At this name Ukyo's face went pale as well, "Buki Saotome."...........The End Ch.1  
  
Author's notes: Well the first chapter of the re-write is done. As you can see I'm changing the writing format from, When Hell Doesn't Cut It. I'm still keeping essentially the same story line. I'm just going to take it at a different pace than what I was doing. I will also be changing a few elements about how the characters will develop. Buki won't be a COMPLETE homicidal maniac this time around (one change). For those of you who liked the first one and the way it started, I'm sorry but there will be no tournament in this one (at least not like I was doing) unless it's very late in the story. If any of you are annoyed with the descriptions and other references to bad. Those are in there for practice and I will only describe a character once unless they undergo a drastic change in appearance. Hope all of you enjoyed the first chapter. Hopefully I can have the second one out soon. 


End file.
